Think of a challenging moment you've experienced with a loved one where they've done (or haven't done) something you would have like them to.
It could have been something small, like not washing the dishes or something rather big like forgetting an important event, or falling asleep without giving you an orgasm in return.
This kind of stuff is tricky because on one hand: you understand your loved one means well, is busy, and only human, but on the other: you're disappointed, and having to let it slide when really, you feel resentment.
It's okay to feel annoyed and the best thing you can do, in-the-moment, is politely express this.
What's not okay is to stamp collect. This is where you don't say anything in-the-moment, but instead collate a list of times and places where your loved one disappointed you.
Instead of facing each challenge openly, you hold it within yourself and wait for a later date (usually when things have hit breaking point) to list off the many times your loved one has betrayed you.
Why is this unfair? Because your loved one mightn't have known how you felt at the time, and perhaps if they had known, they would have done things differently.
It's also not fair for yourself because harbouring anger, disappointment, resentment etc. takes its toll on your body, mind and spirit. It's also difficult to love completely when you're holding resentment.
So, what can you do about stamp collecting?
Let that stuff go!
Let go of the stamps that are of no value, and address the ones that are, in-the-moment.
You might need to take some time to organise your thoughts and the way you wish you present your disappointment. Just be sure to address resentments as soon as possible.
Likewise, be aware of stamps held against you. It's good to face your shortcomings and apologise, but you don't have to be apologising for your shortcomings over and again.
If someone is eternally holding stamps against you, it's wise to consider whether you're willing to endure them because let's face it, stamp collecting has never really been that cool.